Weaning my toddler was a bittersweet experience. She had been my little nursling, and I wasn’t sure how she’d handle the transition. To my surprise, she amazed me with their adaptability. We slowly cut down nursing sessions and focused on creating special bonding times through play and exploration.
Weaning brought us even closer as a family. That’s why I’d like to share with you the tips and tricks that helped us in our weaning journey. I hope you’ll find these tips helpful!
What are the main reasons parents decide to stop breastfeeding a toddler?
You may decide to wean your little one for various reasons, and each family’s decision is deeply personal and unique. Some of the main reasons include:
- Mom Burnout: Breastfeeding on demand, night and day, can be exhausting. Mom burnout is real and can keep you from enjoying the happy moments. So, if you feel weaning can help you reduce stress, you should let go of guilt and self-doubt and do what you think is best for you and your toddler.
- Sleep and Nighttime Parenting: Night feedings can become exhausting for some parents. You may consider stopping breastfeeding in the hope that you and your toddler will sleep better. Unfortunately, weaning does not automatically improve sleep.
- Child’s Readiness: Some toddlers may naturally show reduced interest in breastfeeding as they become more independent and engage in other activities. That’s the ideal way of weaning, but unfortunately, it doesn’t happen to many of us.
- Encouraging Independence: Weaning can be part of supporting a toddler’s growing autonomy and self-reliance. However, you should know that your toddler’s temperament plays a huge role in how independent they are. Some children are more sensitive, shy, cautious, and highly attached to their primary caregiver. So even if you stop breastfeeding, they might not change their behavior.
- Pregnancy: If a mother becomes pregnant while breastfeeding, she may choose to wean due to hormonal changes or potential health considerations.
How to stop breastfeeding gently and gradually
Gentle and gradual weaning methods can help toddlers transition from breastfeeding to other forms of nourishment while maintaining a strong emotional bond. Here are some gentle approaches parents can try:
1. Slowly Reduce Nursing Sessions
Gradually decrease the number of breastfeeding sessions over time. Start by eliminating one feeding per day and work progressively towards replacing others.
One way to do this is by using the “Don’t Offer, Don’t Refuse” method: Instead of initiating nursing, allow the child to express interest in breastfeeding. If they do, respond gently but avoid offering the breast proactively.
Moreover, you can try to shorten the duration. Gently unlatch your toddler when they begin to lose interest. You may also want to tell them in advance that you’ll be breastfeeding for 20 seconds: you’ll count to 20, and they’ll need to finish by the time you finish counting.
You can help them finish by offering distractions. As you’re counting and you notice that they aren’t going to stop (lol), you can try distracting them with engaging activities that can redirect their attention away from breastfeeding (“We can bake some cookies after I count to 20. Would you like that?”, or “I found the doll you lost one week ago. Would you like me to give it to you now?”)
2. Find new bonding opportunities
Discover other bonding opportunities with your child, such as reading together, engaging in play, or spending quality time outdoors. It’s easier to distract your toddler from breastfeeding when you are outdoors or when you are doing something new and exciting.
3. Create a “Big Kid” bedtime routine
One of the trickiest moments for weaning a toddler is bedtime. Children are usually tired and overstimulated in the evening and have a lower frustration tolerance.
The thing to remember, though, is that breastfeeding a toddler is not only about nutrition; it’s also about habit and bonding. That’s why you need to replace not only the source of milk but also find alternative ways to provide the warmth and closeness that the breastfeeding bond comes with. Give extra snuggles, cuddles, and physical affection as a comforting substitute for nursing. You can also create a special “big kid” bedtime routine that doesn’t include breastfeeding.
For instance, you can try this:
“In two weeks, you’ll turn three. You’ll be a big girl, then. What if we create a special Big Kid bedtime just for us? We can read three books, sing a bedtime song, have a gentle massage, and then go to sleep. How does that sound?”
Your toddler might be reluctant at first. It’s essential, however, to remain gentle but consistent and firm. Remember to offer praise and encouragement as your toddler gradually adapts to the new routine, even for small wins. Learning how to stop breastfeeding is a significant change for a toddler.
4. Offer Sippy Cups or Alternative Milk, Snacks, and Water
You may introduce sippy cups with water, cow’s milk, or almond milk to gradually replace breast milk during daytime and nighttime feeds. You can also try a transition cup. A transition cup is a cup with a soft spout that resembles breastfeeding for toddlers who are used to the comfort of nursing. If you offer milk, warm it to a comfortable temperature, similar to breast milk, to make the transition smoother.
You may also want to try to provide snacks and water to your toddler throughout the day, ideally before breastfeeding sessions.
5. Be Responsive to Emotions
Breastfeeding is so much more than milk, so it helps to validate your toddler’s emotions and frustrations. Expect weaning to be hard on some days, but know those moments won’t last forever. There’s life after breastfeeding, and there’s life after weaning. So, be gentle with yourself and your toddler as you go through your weaning journey.
It’s best to create a supportive network if you feel flooded with emotions. Encourage your toddler to find comfort with other family members when they seek nursing, fostering solid bonds with siblings or caregivers.
Showing yourself self-compassion is essential when you need to stop breastfeeding a toddler
Weaning can be an emotional challenge for both little ones and parents. You may feel guilty or sad about ending the breastfeeding journey, especially if it has been a great experience and you have many fond memories. Feelings of self-doubt can also creep in when you see your child having a hard time, and you may be concerned about your child’s emotional well-being.
Sometimes, you may also fear losing your special closeness with your child. Last but not least, weaning is also about accepting that your child is no longer a baby and that they have grown up.
It helps to remind yourself that all emotions are normal and that they come and go. Remind yourself that your bond with your child is more than just your feelings at a certain point in time.
Breastfeeding and weaning are just phases in your relationship with your child. Going through these experiences is a normal part of life.
